[It's easier for Newt to say they're not aliens. Aliens mean death.]
....I know why. At least I think I do....
[Newt looks at her fingers.]
Um....when we were attacked....it really reminded a lot of when ....my colony was attacked by....aliens and .....I know people say you can't die here but....I didn't believe them. I was too afraid it was happening all over again. So ....I wouldn't let any of my pokemon fight.
He never liked that I would hide from things and then I stopped him from fighting in a really big fight...
[Newt pauses and her voice gets even smaller and her legs curl up more.]
I just didn't want them to die. I thought everyone else was going to die but I couldn't lose them too. .....not after everyone else. Everyone always dies and leaves me alone...
[And...there it was. The missing piece in Rebe--no, she's Newt. She wants to be called Newt--Newt's background. Of course it was death, suffering, carnage, and monsters, why wouldn't it be? So many children brought to this world came from desperate times of survival and fighting. Death took so many things. How cruel. Not for the first time, she envied being able to resent and fear Death as opposed to knowing that it's what she is.]
Oh, my darling... [She reaches out her hand, gently, not putting it anywhere but just showing that the girl can hang onto it if she wants.] Why don't we tell him that? If he's truly angry, I'll take the hits. We can work this out.
[She seems somewhat doubtful but she'll unfold a bit to pull out a pokeball and a moment later there is a Shinx on the floor in front of them. The pokemon is still fairly young but looks around curiously. However when he notices Newt is there he turns away from her. Newt meanwhile puts the pokeball away. She seems used to this.]
This is Jonesy. I named him after a cat my, mo- friend, Ripley has at home that she told me about.
[She's starting to think she should have picked a different name. She doesn't want anything related to Ripley, even just in name be mad at her.]
[It's a stern tone at first just to get the Shinx's attention. After a moment, Botan smiles, canting her head towards the Pokemon.]
Hello. My name is Botan, I'm a friend of Newt's. I would like to talk to you on her behalf, is that all right? I understand you're cross with her, but please direct any of it towards me if you must.
[Names are important, she would say. If it's something you genuinely wanted to bestow, it shouldn't be taken back. At least that's her thought, she doesn't even remember where her name came from.]
[The stern tone gets his attention and he looks over at the woman. Oh this one can understand....he tilts his head slightly. Newt meanwhile will just watch quietly.]
I suppose....
[He's not so sure but maybe this human can tell his to be smarter.]
You should tell her to stop running away and hiding all the time then. She needs to be braver. I don't care what the others say.
Yes..... She's scared of things because of what happened to her in her world.
[A bit of an admission. He's been told and told more harshly by the other members of the team who are not pleased with how he's acting. He does think over that last bit.]
They go away and they never come back? But I'm not going to die, so she should have let me fight, even if she was scared and wanted to hide. I never stopped her from hiding. It's not fair that she didn't even let me fight. She didn't even say anything. She just got all weird and pulled me back into the ball and wouldn't let me out.
[Jonesy is somewhat arrogant, mostly just convinced he's right and knows better so yeah that. And also the fact that he doesn't understand how much Newt has really been through. He's young, and he doesn't get it. He saw her mentally break but being snatched back from the giant fight that was going on, meant that his focus was more on himself. He's also a bit selfish like that.]
You can never see a person who has died again. Not until you die yourself, and even so there's no guarantee of that. You may believe it wouldn't happen to you, but Newt doesn't know that.
[A communication breakdown between an arrogant youth and a traumatized youth. This is the real risk of having a partnership without words.]
Jonesy, you're angry that she didn't let you fight, you're possibly hurt that she didn't have the confidence you would make it out alive. But would it really be so terrible to consider it from her side? How much she's lost already? One doesn't simply just wake up and decide to be brave, especially if they have no reason or experience to justify it. And now, since you both have gone and cornered yourselves in your own feelings, she thinks you hate her. What's more important in this situation? Your friend's feelings? Or your pride?
[Now that, stops Jonesy short. Because it's confusing and yes he was hurt and angry because he COULD fight. He could HELP but she wouldn't let him and that makes him angry. But the woman says something else and he has to reply to that first.]
I don't hate her.
[He really doesn't.]
But......
[He trails off and for a moment you can tell he's trying to do what she said to.]
If she was my friend she'd have let me protect her.....wouldn't she?
[Confused now. He really doesn't get the trauma thing, but at least it doesn't come out of a place of malice. In his mind you're brave a certain way. And that's it. By attacking, by fighting. By being strong. Most of Newt's pokemon realize that's wrong. But he doesn't get it yet.]
As your friend, you want to protect her. But as her friend, she wants to protect you. Doesn't that make sense, dear? Nobody wants someone they love to die or get hurt, especially not for their sake, especially not after already losing so much, even someone as young as you two feel that.
[She addresses Newt for the first time since this started:] He doesn't hate you, but he's confused on why you wouldn't let him protect you.
[That actually gets him to sit still for a moment because ....oh.]
[While he thinks, Newt listens to what she's being told.]
He doesn't?....I glad. I ....was just so afraid he'd die....back home, Billy tried to be brave and then he died too. Even though I yelled at him to come back and.....and...it didn't matter...if you're brave you die...
[She trails off, her voice losing the emotion it gained.]
That's what happens to everyone or they get really hurt. The only person who ever didn't was Ripley and she's ...Ripley. And one of the other two only survived because he's an android.
I....got so scared I went back there in my head and I was ....I couldn't let them die. They're too important. I ....just couldn't....
[And Jonesy seems to be listening as well because he's looking over at Newt. Then back to Botan.]
.....so the others were right, it's not me. It's because of the bad place she came from? And death being, really, really bad?
...Yes. [Her voice cracks a little before she nods.] Death is very bad, it's awful.
[It hurts people, no joy can be found in death.]
[Isn't that right...?]
Jonesy, Newt, you both want to protect each other. Neither wants to lose the other. You, Jonesy, need to be less impulsive and consider how Newt feels. There's a very dark place in her mind now, where all the bad monsters and death lives, they come out to remind her of the bad things. When that happens, staying with her is best, do you understand?
[Sorry Botan. They don't realize. Meanwhile Jonesy is at least starting to piece together some previous things he's seen with what happened and what she's saying now.]
[And they shouldn't, they never will. Death won't touch them, not as long as she has anything to say about it.]
Of course, silly! This wasn't to go around accusing anybody of wrong-doings, it was to clear up any bad vibes! Newt, Jonesy says he's sorry. And I say that calls for some cookies in addition to milkshakes!
[Do you just keep those ready for situations like this Botan yeesh.]
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....I know why. At least I think I do....
[Newt looks at her fingers.]
Um....when we were attacked....it really reminded a lot of when ....my colony was attacked by....aliens and .....I know people say you can't die here but....I didn't believe them. I was too afraid it was happening all over again. So ....I wouldn't let any of my pokemon fight.
He never liked that I would hide from things and then I stopped him from fighting in a really big fight...
[Newt pauses and her voice gets even smaller and her legs curl up more.]
I just didn't want them to die. I thought everyone else was going to die but I couldn't lose them too. .....not after everyone else. Everyone always dies and leaves me alone...
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Oh, my darling... [She reaches out her hand, gently, not putting it anywhere but just showing that the girl can hang onto it if she wants.] Why don't we tell him that? If he's truly angry, I'll take the hits. We can work this out.
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[She seems somewhat doubtful but she'll unfold a bit to pull out a pokeball and a moment later there is a Shinx on the floor in front of them. The pokemon is still fairly young but looks around curiously. However when he notices Newt is there he turns away from her. Newt meanwhile puts the pokeball away. She seems used to this.]
This is Jonesy. I named him after a cat my, mo- friend, Ripley has at home that she told me about.
[She's starting to think she should have picked a different name. She doesn't want anything related to Ripley, even just in name be mad at her.]
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[It's a stern tone at first just to get the Shinx's attention. After a moment, Botan smiles, canting her head towards the Pokemon.]
Hello. My name is Botan, I'm a friend of Newt's. I would like to talk to you on her behalf, is that all right? I understand you're cross with her, but please direct any of it towards me if you must.
[Names are important, she would say. If it's something you genuinely wanted to bestow, it shouldn't be taken back. At least that's her thought, she doesn't even remember where her name came from.]
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I suppose....
[He's not so sure but maybe this human can tell his to be smarter.]
You should tell her to stop running away and hiding all the time then. She needs to be braver. I don't care what the others say.
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[If yes, then it's quite arrogant to simply tell someone to "just stop running", if no then it needs to be spoken aloud.]
Sorry for barraging you with questions, but do you understand what it means when someone dies?
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[A bit of an admission. He's been told and told more harshly by the other members of the team who are not pleased with how he's acting. He does think over that last bit.]
They go away and they never come back? But I'm not going to die, so she should have let me fight, even if she was scared and wanted to hide. I never stopped her from hiding. It's not fair that she didn't even let me fight. She didn't even say anything. She just got all weird and pulled me back into the ball and wouldn't let me out.
[Jonesy is somewhat arrogant, mostly just convinced he's right and knows better so yeah that. And also the fact that he doesn't understand how much Newt has really been through. He's young, and he doesn't get it. He saw her mentally break but being snatched back from the giant fight that was going on, meant that his focus was more on himself. He's also a bit selfish like that.]
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[A communication breakdown between an arrogant youth and a traumatized youth. This is the real risk of having a partnership without words.]
Jonesy, you're angry that she didn't let you fight, you're possibly hurt that she didn't have the confidence you would make it out alive. But would it really be so terrible to consider it from her side? How much she's lost already? One doesn't simply just wake up and decide to be brave, especially if they have no reason or experience to justify it. And now, since you both have gone and cornered yourselves in your own feelings, she thinks you hate her. What's more important in this situation? Your friend's feelings? Or your pride?
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I don't hate her.
[He really doesn't.]
But......
[He trails off and for a moment you can tell he's trying to do what she said to.]
If she was my friend she'd have let me protect her.....wouldn't she?
[Confused now. He really doesn't get the trauma thing, but at least it doesn't come out of a place of malice. In his mind you're brave a certain way. And that's it. By attacking, by fighting. By being strong. Most of Newt's pokemon realize that's wrong. But he doesn't get it yet.]
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[She addresses Newt for the first time since this started:] He doesn't hate you, but he's confused on why you wouldn't let him protect you.
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[While he thinks, Newt listens to what she's being told.]
He doesn't?....I glad. I ....was just so afraid he'd die....back home, Billy tried to be brave and then he died too. Even though I yelled at him to come back and.....and...it didn't matter...if you're brave you die...
[She trails off, her voice losing the emotion it gained.]
That's what happens to everyone or they get really hurt. The only person who ever didn't was Ripley and she's ...Ripley. And one of the other two only survived because he's an android.
I....got so scared I went back there in my head and I was ....I couldn't let them die. They're too important. I ....just couldn't....
[And Jonesy seems to be listening as well because he's looking over at Newt. Then back to Botan.]
.....so the others were right, it's not me. It's because of the bad place she came from? And death being, really, really bad?
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[It hurts people, no joy can be found in death.]
[Isn't that right...?]
Jonesy, Newt, you both want to protect each other. Neither wants to lose the other. You, Jonesy, need to be less impulsive and consider how Newt feels. There's a very dark place in her mind now, where all the bad monsters and death lives, they come out to remind her of the bad things. When that happens, staying with her is best, do you understand?
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I think so....
[He thinks for a moment.]
Can you tell her I'm sorry?
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Of course, silly! This wasn't to go around accusing anybody of wrong-doings, it was to clear up any bad vibes! Newt, Jonesy says he's sorry. And I say that calls for some cookies in addition to milkshakes!
[Do you just keep those ready for situations like this Botan yeesh.]
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I was going to ask...what is a milkshak-
[However she's interrupted as Jonesy jumps into her lap, as she moved her knees down and she gets distracted as she hugs him.]
I love you too Jonesy.